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Not feeling the vibe?
Can't get excited about your partner?
Feel the love is dying?
Need help?
Glad you checked in today!
I've posted several articles on falling in love and rekindling the romance but it has been a while and I have had a request to share some really specific and concrete things you can do today, right now, or this week to change the dynamics of your relationship and start feeling excited about your partner.
Simple, fun, and effective! Here you go....
Ten simple ways to fall in love, again:
1. Enjoy memories. We know that our emotions are connected to thoughts, so when we reflect on good, happy memories we recreate the emotions and feelings in our body/mind that went along with the experience. Our great feelings are associated with those we shared the experiences, so while we don't want to live in the past, enjoying our memories together is a simple way to enjoy our partners.
2. Plan for the future and share your dreams. Having something to look forward to is one of the keys to living a happy life. We humans seem to need goals, dreams, hope, and a purpose. Without them we tend to get stuck; life may seem boring or purposeless. When we share our dreams, work toward our goals and envision a future with our partner, we tend to work toward this future. Again, this doesn't mean we don't live in the present and enjoy the moment, it just means we hold our dreams in our hearts.
3. Live in the present. Of course this comes next. Enjoy the moment. Take each second of beauty and expand it, bask in it, allow it to fill your soul. Don't let even one minute of joy, laughter, or pleasure be taken for granted. Allow yourself to treasure the time you have with your partner; look for those moments of quiet peace, or vibrant joy, or wild excitement. If they are few and far between, make more of them!
4. Demonstrate appreciation. Show your partner you care. Tell your spouse you love him. Do everything you can to make sure your beloved knows (doesn't have to guess), that you adore and cherish her. Don't assume they know and don't think that because you mentioned it a few years ago they remember.
5. Look for the good in your partner. Remember when you first met? You saw nothing wrong with your significant other. She was fabulous; he was perfect. Of course in time we tend to see a little more of each other and that impression may fade just a tad so consciously find (not just look) for the great qualities and traits of your mate. Don't just come up with a thing or two, how about write down a hundred wonderful things about your partner, then share it!
6. Engage in new activities. Humans tend to thrive on new experiences. There is something innate in us where we want to learn, grow, and expand our knowledge, understanding, or talents. It seems to me that we often get into ruts with our partners, doing the same things over and over again when one of the great ways to get out of the rut and to put some vibrancy into the relationship is to get out and do something new. Try something really unusual, or out of the ordinary for a change!
7. Have lots of fun. It is so much to laugh together. I'm thinking it is nearly impossible to not love those who make us laugh and those whose days we can brighten. Lighten up, find the humor in everything, and have lots of fun.
8. Work on projects together. Be a team! Find something that you and your partner can create together. When a couple is working in unison to bring forth something beneficial to their family, their neighborhood, their community, the world, or even animals, they can create a bond that is incredibly powerful. When working toward an important goal, we tend to see the greatness in each other, find ways to support one another, and have a deeper sense of the importance and strength of the relationship.
9. Remember what is truly important in life. Think about what is important in the long term, not what will give you a moment of pleasure. Reflect on how you want your life to be remembered when you are ninety years old. Ponder what you truly value in life. Remind yourself of your core personal values or morals. It might be that you move from wanting more excitement in your life right now to holding a desire for true and lifelong devotion and love.
10. Give attention and support your beloved. It sounds strange but we know that the more we give, care, or serve another the more we love them; NOT the more they love us but the more we love them. We love those to whom we give love and care and attention and service. The more you give the more you love. Cool!
Don't give up. So long as you believe the relationship is worth saving, so long as you want the relationship to be healed I hold it as possible. Remember relationships are not the fantasy of perfect bliss for eterntiy. They are a dynamic process that may have some low and high moments; they have their struggles and challenges. The key to keeping the relationship alive is to move through the problems and not let them take over your life and your love!
I invite you to check out my other articles on this topic!
Can't get excited about your partner?
Feel the love is dying?
Need help?
Glad you checked in today!
I've posted several articles on falling in love and rekindling the romance but it has been a while and I have had a request to share some really specific and concrete things you can do today, right now, or this week to change the dynamics of your relationship and start feeling excited about your partner.
Simple, fun, and effective! Here you go....
Ten simple ways to fall in love, again:
1. Enjoy memories. We know that our emotions are connected to thoughts, so when we reflect on good, happy memories we recreate the emotions and feelings in our body/mind that went along with the experience. Our great feelings are associated with those we shared the experiences, so while we don't want to live in the past, enjoying our memories together is a simple way to enjoy our partners.
2. Plan for the future and share your dreams. Having something to look forward to is one of the keys to living a happy life. We humans seem to need goals, dreams, hope, and a purpose. Without them we tend to get stuck; life may seem boring or purposeless. When we share our dreams, work toward our goals and envision a future with our partner, we tend to work toward this future. Again, this doesn't mean we don't live in the present and enjoy the moment, it just means we hold our dreams in our hearts.
3. Live in the present. Of course this comes next. Enjoy the moment. Take each second of beauty and expand it, bask in it, allow it to fill your soul. Don't let even one minute of joy, laughter, or pleasure be taken for granted. Allow yourself to treasure the time you have with your partner; look for those moments of quiet peace, or vibrant joy, or wild excitement. If they are few and far between, make more of them!
4. Demonstrate appreciation. Show your partner you care. Tell your spouse you love him. Do everything you can to make sure your beloved knows (doesn't have to guess), that you adore and cherish her. Don't assume they know and don't think that because you mentioned it a few years ago they remember.
5. Look for the good in your partner. Remember when you first met? You saw nothing wrong with your significant other. She was fabulous; he was perfect. Of course in time we tend to see a little more of each other and that impression may fade just a tad so consciously find (not just look) for the great qualities and traits of your mate. Don't just come up with a thing or two, how about write down a hundred wonderful things about your partner, then share it!
6. Engage in new activities. Humans tend to thrive on new experiences. There is something innate in us where we want to learn, grow, and expand our knowledge, understanding, or talents. It seems to me that we often get into ruts with our partners, doing the same things over and over again when one of the great ways to get out of the rut and to put some vibrancy into the relationship is to get out and do something new. Try something really unusual, or out of the ordinary for a change!
7. Have lots of fun. It is so much to laugh together. I'm thinking it is nearly impossible to not love those who make us laugh and those whose days we can brighten. Lighten up, find the humor in everything, and have lots of fun.
8. Work on projects together. Be a team! Find something that you and your partner can create together. When a couple is working in unison to bring forth something beneficial to their family, their neighborhood, their community, the world, or even animals, they can create a bond that is incredibly powerful. When working toward an important goal, we tend to see the greatness in each other, find ways to support one another, and have a deeper sense of the importance and strength of the relationship.
9. Remember what is truly important in life. Think about what is important in the long term, not what will give you a moment of pleasure. Reflect on how you want your life to be remembered when you are ninety years old. Ponder what you truly value in life. Remind yourself of your core personal values or morals. It might be that you move from wanting more excitement in your life right now to holding a desire for true and lifelong devotion and love.
10. Give attention and support your beloved. It sounds strange but we know that the more we give, care, or serve another the more we love them; NOT the more they love us but the more we love them. We love those to whom we give love and care and attention and service. The more you give the more you love. Cool!
Don't give up. So long as you believe the relationship is worth saving, so long as you want the relationship to be healed I hold it as possible. Remember relationships are not the fantasy of perfect bliss for eterntiy. They are a dynamic process that may have some low and high moments; they have their struggles and challenges. The key to keeping the relationship alive is to move through the problems and not let them take over your life and your love!
I invite you to check out my other articles on this topic!
14 comments:
One thing I am learning is not to wait for hubby to initiate something. If I want a hug, I am training myself to go over there and get the hug. If I want to cuddle, I plant myself down on the couch next to him and put my arm around him. This is taking me time to get used to reaching out like this. I would not interrupt him when he was reading, thinking it would be impolite. Or when he was working on his computer. He says he likes it that I am reaching out to him like this.
Just stumbled upon your blog and it is FABULOUS! Wondering if you could help me with an idea. I'm working on a photo book for my dad's 20th anniversary - and I want to add 1 tip or quote or .. something... to each page - something about long successful marriages. Perhaps the theme of the book will recipe for a long marriage? and the "ingredients" will be 20 quotes or tips... I dunno - but I'm searching your blog in hopes of finding good stuff. Thanks!!!!
You say "The key to keeping the relationship alive is to move through the problems and not let them take over your life and your love". For me, that is what I wanted to do, but I did not know how to move through them. I am learning now though. I was never taught either by example or by words and did not have tools to work through the hard times. My hubby is constantly working on remaining stable and not giving in to the seduction of the manic episodes and now that I have been with him during a long and traumatic manic episode, we are both recovering and here for each other in a different way. I read your blog often and appreciate all your encouraging and forthright words.
Very good tips! Thanks!
<3 Lindsay
All good. Give, give, and give some more. Because, as you say, in the beginning we're willing to climb mountains.
Jennifer,
Your words are insightful and truly inspiring. I am so happy that I stumbled upon you blog. I am recently "falling out of love" with my boyfriend of two years. Your posts have given me something to think and "do" about. Aha! There's hope :)
Toni
Love your tips! To re-create intimacy in relationship, open communication is one of the best ways to improve your marriage relationship. This does not mean that all you need to do to effectively communicate is talk and listen. In order for communication to be effective, you actually have to try to understand the other person.
Thanks Jennifer Jones,
and sorry to hear about your recent loss. I'm a troubled soul; 56 and pretty much lost. Been on the net "looking for love" for 3 years now, but sadly, due to financial problems my business has suffered since the onsluaght of our recession, can't afford to go meet those I'd like to anyway ..in the Ukraine, or China or wherever. Coming from a almost 18 Yr. marriage that spiraled into sadness (I could go on for days), I recently started to pay more attention to the zodiac and Chinese astrology ..thinking, if I'm fortunate to love again, I'd like to love fully, and so it would be nice to get it right, and tonight 'googled' Yin, Yang and relationships ..wondering if a Yang (me, so I've read) should be looking for a Yin, and ended up here ...and reading enough to want to say.. thank you; think I'll be back.
I didn't answer my question, but did enhance my understanding a bit, and (upon reading snipets here and there) you've given me a few things to think about. Thanks ..again, and best wishes Jennifer.
Ken (Clark;)
Good article posted and also helpful those people who are looking for online dating......
Good information, good writing, good picture painted. Lucky to have stumbled on this site and your post. My kudos and cheers to keep it going. It always good to spread the word.
This is really awesome blog post found here.... Thanks for the share... Would like to say thanks very much for the share.
Great tips but I prefer not to make plans.
Glad to see that this site works well on my Droid , everything I want to do is functional. Thanks for keeping it up to date with the latest.
Again, nice post. I love the little moments, hugs, quick kiss, it feels like you are making love deposits!!!
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