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I wanted to share the great advice given by Sharon Randall from The Standard Times.
If your relationship is in need of lots of work, pick one or two of Sharon's tips and get going!
Twenty Five Tips on How to Stay Married *
"1. Always put her first - before work, friends, even
basketball. Act as if she's the best thing that ever happened to you, because we all know she is.
2. Keep no secrets. Pool your money. Allow nothing and no one to come between you.
3. Pick your fights with care. Play fair. Show some class. Hurtful words can be forgiven, but they're hard to forget.
4. Fall in love again every day. Kiss her in taxis. Flirt with her at parties. Tell her she's beautiful. Then tell her again.
5. Never miss an anniversary or a birthday or a chance to make a memory. Memories may not seem important now, but one day they'll be gold.
6. Never give her a practical gift. If she really wants a Shop-Vac, let her pick it out herself.
7. Go to church together, and pray every day for each other and your marriage.
8. Pay your bills on time and make sure you each have a living will, a
durable power of attorney and life insurance, lest, God forbid, you need them.
9. Love her parents as your own, but don't ask them for money. Never criticize her family or friends. On her birthday, send flowers to her mother with a note saying, "Thank you for giving birth to the love of my life."
10. Always listen to her heart; if you're wrong, say you're sorry; if you're right, shut up.
11. Don't half-tie the knot; plan to stay married forever.
12. Never go to bed mad; talk until you're over it, or you forget why you were mad.
13. Laugh together a lot. If you can laugh at yourselves, you'll have plenty to laugh about.
14. Never criticize, correct or interrupt her in public; try not to do it in private either.
15. Remember that people are the least lovable when they are most in need of love.
16. Never fall for the myth of perfectionism; it's a lie.
17. When you don't like each other, remember that you love each other;
pray for the "good days" to return and they will.
18. Tell the truth, only the truth, with great kindness.
19. Kiss at least 10 seconds a day, all at once or spread out.
20. Memorize all her favorite things and amaze her with how very well you know her.
21. Examine your relationship as often as you change the oil in your car; keep steering it on a path you both want it to go.
22. Be content with what you have materially, honest about where you are emotionally, and never stop growing spiritually.
23. Never raise your voice unless you're on fire. Whisper when you argue.
24. Be both friends and lovers; in a blackout, light a candle, then make your own sparks.
25. Finally, be an interesting person, lead your own life. But always save your best for each other. In the end, you will know you were better together than you ever could've been apart.
Here's to happily ever after.
*Please note.... while the tips use either "him" or "her" they are meant for both partners!
*You can read Sharon's full article here: 25 Tips on How to Stay Married
Sharon Randall can be contacted at P.O. Box 777394, Henderson NV 89077 or at sharonrandall.com. The Standard-Times.
10 comments:
what a great list! all i have to say is i have a lot to learn.
Oh dear this is the very reason why we don't get well with my husband. He forgets he got a wife.
To maintain a good marriage is like an art. You need practice and lots of trial and error to make a relationship work. If one person runs out of patient or interest before their relationship has the chance to recover, that romance is more likely going down the hill.
Great article.
Can it get more sickly? Some sound advice, but so sugar wrapped its almost indigestible!
Great list and good advice but ladies, don't forget that your guy needs a lot of that stuff back too. That would be why I am single ^_-
It's great except for #7. You assume far too much of faith. Faith is, in fact, damaging to a relationship because instead of actually doing something to resolve a problem, someone would pray. And then nothing happens and the problem gets worse, and the relationship falls apart, the person thinks that "God" doesn't want them to be together or something like that, and they don't even begin to question whether their praying actually did any good, or whether there is a "God" there to even listen.
Ok, lets try this again. Does this sound sexist to you?
1. Always put him first - before work, friends, even
shopping. Act as if he's the best thing that ever happened to you, because we all know he is.
10. Always listen to his heart; if you're wrong, say you're sorry; if you're right, shut up.
The other ones are less conspicuous, but many are just as selfish and malevolent.
(to be fair, some are very sound advice as well however)
Lets not forget others for the sake of ourselves.
Look, I'm one of those relatively few unmarried men who actually cares enough about having a happy marriage in the future to read things like this that women write.
But you have illustrated why I am increasingly certain that I will never bother with marriage. The fact is, plenty of these things are simply not naturally interesting for men - they are something that take a lot of drudgery. Why would I want to take that on? What would I get out of it? Every time a woman writes one of these "__ tips for a happy marriage", what they really mean is "__ ways to make your wife happy beyond what any woman has ever had in the history of humankind". Why don't I ever read anything about what women are supposed to do? Why does every list of suggestions for a happy marriage act as though it is SOLELY a man's responsibility?
Put another way, how would you feel if you reversed the gender roles on your list? Somehow it wouldn't seem so appealing. This post simply shows the dominance of feminism today. Keep demanding this, girls, and more and more of us guys are actually going to start checking out. Is that what you want?
Until women start to realize that 1) marriage does not come as naturally to men (i.e. we prefer basketball to spending time in Hallmark stores), 2) women are more relational and therefore desire marriage more than men, and 3) women therefore have to make compromises too, women should get used to growing old alone.
Hi Anonymous (11-22)
Thanks for dropping in! :-)
It seems people have missed my little note at the bottom of the article, and have failed to notice that I did not write the article but share it as a collection of nice ideas to help a marriage.
In other words, every tip may not appeal to everyone and not every tip is going to help a relationship.
The author gave some ideas that may help... if something doesn't fit then disregard it. :-) By all means I'm not suggesting this is the perfect list for all couples. Notice my introductory note at the beginning of the article suggesting it may be nice to pick one or two ideas that may improve or benefit your relationship?
Also, IIRC, there are only three or four tips that are primarily directed for women, most are pretty gender neutral, meant for the relationship as a whole. I noted this at the end of the article just to be clear. :-)
But again, this list was not posted as the end all difinitive list for everyone in the world.
Conversely, it was one post in a collection of hundreds that offer some ideas.
Now, in terms of marriage, (smile)it is true that marriage requires work. It is not easy, simple, eternal bliss. It does require a lot of determination, dedication, and growing. There are highs and lows, sacrifice and challenges.
I won't argue with you on this. :-)
I believe that if someone thinks marriage is not worth it they should not go for it. Marriage is not for everyone.
But for those who want to have a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship I hope to offer some ideas, techniques, and hope.
Thanks again for your comments... lots of luck to you!
Warmest wishes,
Jennifer
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