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Whose responsibility is it to create a great marriage?
Can one partner make a relationship great if the other is not doing a bit of work?
How much do you take the blame for a not-so-healthy partnership?
As usual... the answer is often complex and always dependent on the situation.
Having said this... we are each responsible for our lives. We alone are responsible for what we allow into our lives, how we react to what comes into our lives, and what we want to embrace, get rid of, or keep.
It is up to us to manage our lives in the best way possible.
However, a relationship involves two people and to make it healthy and fulfilling the energy and dedication from both partners are needed to make it work. One person alone trying to make a marriage work is like trying to clap with one hand.
It is rare that one partner completely committed and one not invested in a relationship will find a truly happy union. Resentment, anger, and sorrow are often present when one partner is working while the other seems unwilling to invest in the relationship.
Most often it takes both partners giving 100% to have a truly happy marriage or relationship. Giving less that your best doesn't seem to be enough to keep a marriage in its optimum state.
This doesn't mean we don't have bad days. It doesn't mean we don't get in bad moods. It doesn't mean we don't have disagreements. It just means that one person alone typically can't make the marriage work. It takes two.
So, while obviously both partners need to engage and invest in the relationship, it is not about a 50/50 investment. It is a 100/100 investment. Each partner giving all they can to create a healthy and loving situation.
The responsibility of each person is to give their best to the relationship.
Because of course, this is all one can do.
3 comments:
Hi Jen ... home PC not up and running so I have to read from work.
You're right, a relationship is 100% in committment. It can be divided into 50/50 blocks for chores but that's about it. The only way people can get into trouble is to "count" and I think we can all fall into that category. For chores ... I did the groceries, laundry and ironing this week and you only did the dishes ... for the relationship ... I give more to us than you do.
But if both are giving at their very best possible, then we should not count and compare me vs you. We should learn to be happy or content that we are getting everything that our partner can give.
Hi George... you are exactly right! We have to give our best and trust that our partner is giving their best as well.
It is lovely to feel that security and have that sort of trust in a relationship... then during those more difficult times, you know you can make it through!
Blessings to you George...
Jen
Hello.
But if one person is giving their all to the relationship and the is not since he/she feels that nothing else can be done and is pretty much giving up. What do we do? Should the one person continue to make the effort and try and hopefully this will rub off onto the other half?
Love your blog
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