How to Get More of What You Want in a Relationship

What do you want more of in your relationship?

More time together? More love? More affection? More care? More fun? More sex?

Think for a minute about what it is that you believe would make your relationship stronger and more vibrant and alive?

Then the question is.... how do we get more of what we need or desire?

The answer is simple.

Give more of what you would like to have.

Let me give some examples.

If you want more love, be more loving. If you want more kindness, be kinder. If you want more affection, be more affectionate.

It seems to be clear that what we give out comes back to us. The more goodness we share the more goodness we experience. The more we love the more we feel loved.

Too often we want people to behave a certain way to please us. We want our spouse to do something, or be something, or change in some way. At times this "need" can become a demand or an unhealthy means to control or manipulate another.

This never seems to truly work. These sorts of demands create defensiveness and resentment. People don't like to feel controlled and what behaviors do change may be a pretense to satisfy or placate one's partner. They are often acted out with subtle, or not so subtle anger.

But... if we focus on our own behavior and don't try to change anyone but ourselves amazing things happen. If we bring into our relationship that which we desire, not to manipulate another but to bring strength and nourishment to the relationship, it often changes the whole dynamics of the partnership.

Think about what you would like in your relationship and focus your attention on giving this to your spouse. You will bring a new vibrancy and beauty not only to your spouse but to your relationship.