Creating and Destroying Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is delicate. It is not easy to bring into existence and it is very easily destroyed.

Sharing of oneself requires trust, honesty, and openess; all traits that do not come easy to many human beings. This intimate sharing often requires much time as we slowly develop a trust that allows us to open our hearts. It also requires the receiver of the sharing to develop acceptance that allows another to trust us.

True intimacy does not come easily for most of us and many never discover what it means to be truly intimate. Having a deep emotional connection means we disclose the deepest parts of ourselves, often those very parts of us we wish were not there.

While intimacy may take years to create, it can be destroyed in a moment, and often is.

What destoys intimacy? Harsh judgments, non-acceptance, criticism, anger, shaming, and condemning behavior.

If one partner, even in a moment of frustration and anger resorts to cruel comments or rude judgments, years of intimacy can be destroyed in seconds.

If you are truly invested in a relationship and want to increase and protect the emotional bond, notice your ability to accept your partner. Even when angry or unhappy, if your relationship is important, do not allow yourself to explode into criticism and condemnation. Take a breath, hold your tongue, allow yourself to discuss issues with a clear mind and open heart.