Posts
Intimacy is, at its core an act of sharing. Sharing oneself with another.
Intimacy requires both a giving and a receiving. If one shares himself physically, emotionally, or spiritually with another and it is not reciprocated, received, and embraced, intimacy remains elusive.
This dynamic interaction of intimacy does not happen in the human without a sharing of self.
But, sharing of self is risky. We don't always want people to know our real self. It is easy to portray what we want others to see; not so easy to disclose the pain, struggles, and shadows of our humanness.
So, our conversations become superficial. We talk about the weather, the political happenings of the world, the latest football scores; without sharing a glimpse of who we are.
In this world of hecticness, brief communication, and cyber interactions, it is important to remember to share ourselves with others, and to receive those who share with us.
4 comments:
can someone really love you and not share total itimacy with you,year after years? never give an inch toward showing and proving love with sex and passion in a faithful marriage?
Hi Anonymous,
I'm glad you wrote... I'm not sure of the specifics concerning your question but it sounds like you are asking if a committed relationship can really be filled with love and intimate sharing without sex and passion?
Humans are sexual beings and if that instinct is absent there are usually some sorts of issues going on. Depending on the person, there may be medical, emotional, physical, chemical, or even mental challenges that inhibit the sexual drive in someone.
Often these sorts of difficulties can be helped with professional care.
I do know there are those loving, intimate relationships that do exist without sex, often because there may be physical limitations. These couples have found ways to enjoy each other and share their passion for one another in ways that are satisfying to them.
On the other hand, there are those whose relationships are unhealthy, and unfulfilling, existing without passion and sex that can be helped if the couple is willing to invest the time and energy to make the marriage more alive.
I hope that helps... it is a challenging and difficult situation to be sure!
Warmest wishes and best of luck,
Jennifer
Wow Jennifer,
This is probably the deepest desire of my heart in a relationship and the hardest. Sharing superficially leaves me feeling so distant and wanting. I own my feelings but it is disappointing and painful. How do you help to engage someone in sharing at a deeper level without
appearing pushy, clingy or whatever else turns men off. I am learning. Need help !
Lynn
Hi Lynn,
You ask a great question!
My observation is that some people, (typically men), find deep intimacy uncomfortable. Sharing our deepest personal emotions and feelings is not something that many guys find comes naturally.
I think this deep intimacy comes over time, as the trust evolves, as the realtionship feels safe, and as the couple shares the challenges and joys of life.
It is a process not an event.
If your husband knows it is important and valuable to you, if he knows how deeply it connects you to him he may be more apt to be open with his feelings.
And, the more he feels pleasure from sharing more of himself, the more likely he is to continue to open up.
I applaud you for realizing that being pushy and nagging are not the way to intimacy. (smile).
Thanks for visiting... warmest wishes to you Lynn,
Jennifer
Post a Comment