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What is flirting? Is it wrong outside of a committed relationship? Meaningless? Part of being human?
Lets first define flirting. It is to make playfully romantic or sexual overtures.
I would suggest, flirting with one's partner is not only extremely appropraite, it is beneficial to the relatinship both sexually and emotionally. It is important to create a playful and fun element in a relationship. Flirting with each other demonstrates romantic and sexual desire with one's partner, bringing two people closer together in anticipation and excitment. Flirting is a dance; a way humans have come to know with whom they could mate.
However, if one is in a committed relationship, flirting with someone else is highly inappropriate and destructive to the partnership.
In marriages and relationships where two people are committed exclusively to one another, any behaviors that promote, (playfully or otherwise), sexual or romantic desire, interest, or attention thwart the emotional bond and intimacy that comes from a sole sexual interest.
While some suggest flirting outside of marriage is harmless, the clear message it sends is, "I am sexually interested in you, I am attractied to you, I want to be with you." Even if the flirtation doesn't lead to a physical encounter, the message is clear and unequivolcal.
For a deep emotionally connected, loving marriage or partnership, it is important to keep one's desires and interest on the one to whom one's life is committed.
2 comments:
You are completely right about that. i wish my wife could have figured that out.
Thanks for stopping by my blog also.
I remember reading in a book on Affairs once that "If the flirting or actions you are doing with another person you WOULDNT do if your spouse was there, then its cheating"
I think that sometimes occasional flirting can be a positive thing...if someone flirted with me, it would often remind me that I am attractive and desirable and I would usually take that positive feeling home and "express" it to my husband. Although, I don't flirt, and really smiling back and walking away is about all I'd ever do. That is a lot different than expressing a sexual interest in someone knowingly.
I'm in the midst of a crisis - just had my 2nd little one and working through my husband's (we're now separated) affair. About a year ago he resumed a relationship with his high school love from 20yrs ago because she separated from her husband of 10yrs and 4 kids. He decided to leave me and the kids to pursue a relationship with her, but didnt tell me until I found out and kicked him out. Since, we've hit rock bottom (this is also his 2nd affair), but he's ended his communication with other woman (2 mths now) and we've been going to solo and couples therapy - its working. We're not convinced we can save or even restart our marriage at this point, but we;re going to try out best. We have 2 young children (5 mths and almost 3yrs) and 7.5 years together - I know my friends and family will not support me, but marraige is more tha a high school love...its worth the effort.
I've realy enjoyed your posts and have shard them with my spouse. They have given me new perspetive and hope.
Jen
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