Anger Destroys Intimacy

Anger is a natural emotion. We all feel it at times. It is not something to repress or ignore.

Anger is a warning sign that something is not right; that something is bothering you or even harming you. It is an emotion created through evolution to protect us or protect our species. However, anger is also based on how we perceive a situation not necessarily the reality of what is occurring.

Anger is also a toxic emotion. If anger remains in your system it is destructive to your physical as well as emotional and spiritual self. Hence anger is an emotion with which one needs to deal!

The problem is, many of us do not know how to appropriately handle anger. We feel the emotion and allow ourselves to be rude, mean, or even destructive. Anger becomes a tool for power, control, and demands, destroying communication, love, respect and compassion.

What do we do when we feel anger? We take some deep breaths and acknowledge our anger to ourselves. We consciously notice the emotion. We allow ourselves to feel it. We respect the fact that our bodies are giving us information and decide we will carefully deal with the emotion in the way that is most appropriate rather than let the emotion rule our minds and hearts.

We do not repress or ignore anger, we do not pretend it does not exist. These common (among women particularly) techniques only keep the anger inside and often show up as disrespect, depression, detachment, or disgust. It is important to experience the anger if that is what you are feeling, then to release it rather than stuff it down inside only to have it reemerge often and in more subversive ways.

The most important key to managing anger is to not let the emotion rule your behavior. Too often, lives are torn apart, relationships damaged, communication thwarted because of the poor choices of behavior in moments of anger.

Rather, give yourself time to process the emotion, find ways to calm yourself while acknowledging the difficulty of controlling the anger. Understand what the anger is about, what you are doing to keep the emotion alive. Then, and only then are you ready to deal with it appropriately.

Anger is a powerful emotion but one that can be dealt with appropriately. The more we understand our emotions, the more we can use them rather than be used by them.